A Measure of Me

I came across a quote today that I had heard before but haven't thought about in a while. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said,

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and conveniences, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

and it seemed to resonate with me today differently than it had in the past. In the past I lived in comfort and convenience, today I feel like I am in the eye of the storm of challenge and controversy. My life has been far from perfect and anyone and everyone who knows me can tell at least one story of a "mistake" I have made. But, I am beginning to realize that my ultimate measurement is is that of a good man. I know that I can not change the way others see and perceive me. I can not change the fact that I have hurt people or let people down in the past. I can change what i do and what I think. I used to look at myself in the mirror and think how imperfect I am, and I am, but now I look in the mirror and see a heart that is sincere about being better everyday, being more caring and compassionate every day, being in tune with the ones I love. Most importantly, I know that I can face and overcome the greatest obstacles and challenges that appear before me.
Though I have not always been, I know and view myself to be an open and honest man. I feel like I have nothing to hide and no reason to hide anything. Yes, I feel shame for things I have done and for hurting people in the past but that is in the past and I have learned that I do not want to live that way or make those mistakes again. I might, but I will try with all my heart not to by keeping myself out of situations that present the opportunities to fall short of my goal.

A little better everyday, that's all I can try to do. I may have set backs along the way, but the goal does not change and neither does my value. some may measure me as a good man. Some may not. I recognize that I have left a lot of room for improvement. I just know that I will try with all the strength I can muster to be better tomorrow than I was today.

This is definitely a time of challenge for me. Sometimes I don't feel up to it, but I will not give up. I can not give up. The prize is just too damn important to me.